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Gaslighting warps our view of reality. How to spot it – and fight back

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All of us are vulnerable to psychological manipulation, due to quirks in the way our brains create our perception of the world. Understanding how that happens can help strengthen our defences against gaslighting



Humans



27 January 2021

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“It’s a really discombobulating thing to think, ‘I know you’re wrong, but you are now more confident in your lie than I am in the truth,’” comedian John Oliver told The Hollywood Reporter last year.

He was talking about a high-profile Twitter spat with Donald Trump, which began when Trump claimed that he had refused to appear on Oliver’s “very boring and low-rated show”. Oliver denied inviting Trump, who then upped the ante, claiming he had been asked several times and had repeatedly turned the show down. Trump was so adamant that Oliver wondered if he had forgotten something.

The argument has all the hallmarks of gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation in which one person undermines another person’s reality. When carried out over a long period of time, the target can begin to doubt their own thoughts and memories.

We might like to think that this couldn’t happen to us, but the bad news is that it definitely could. This is because of a handful of psychological quirks that come as part of the package of the human mind. Although usually beneficial, these aspects of the way we perceive the world can be exploited by a gaslighter to control our reality. The good news is that by understanding them, it is possible to resist attacks and restore your faith in your own thinking – and reality.

“It could happen to any of us. Aspects of the way we perceive the world can be exploited to control our reality”

Gaslighting became headline news in the UK in 2016 when a prominent storyline in BBC radio drama The …

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